"When I go on the radio next week I'm going to say Verizon sucks," my wife says to me as we come back from Giant. "No dear, you can't say that. That's libel. Or slander, I forget which." "It's just my opinion," she replies. Pondering for a second, "Well then I'm going to pose it as a question like this - Can I say Verizon sucks?"
This morning my wife announced we should start a secret club. Under the covers we inducted each other, our cat Fred, and then came up with a secret handshake.
My wife woke up this morning an announced with a smile on her face, "I just realized you're not an a-hole. You just explain things badly."
Natalie Portman, has fallen from a cliff in New Zealand and died.
After a brusing week with the loss of Ed McMahon, Farah Fawcett, Michael Jackson and TV pitchman Billy Mays - reports are circulating that Natalie Portman has been killed in an accident while filming in New Zealand.
These are the same treacherous cliffs that took the lives of Jeff Goldblum and Tom Cruise.
They have also taken the life of Jon Miles, that's me, and any of your friends that you want to prank.
The celebrity death hoax has a certain resonance considering the headlines of June 2009, however all of this is courtesy of Fakeawish.com - an increasing popular way to kill of celebrities with plane crashes, cliff diving and yacht explosions.
The old adage - Don't believe anything you hear, and only a small percentage of what you read - continues to hold true.
Check out Fakeawish.com to get in on the fun.
Check out all the recent dead celebs!
A friend recently sent me the following email:
(I have abbrieviated the email for time. You can read the whole stupid masterpiece here.)
Subject: Cancer Update
PLEASE DO NOT IGNORE - READ IT ALL!!
This is not just for women:
From Johns-Hopkins
Bottled water in your car is very dangerous!
On the Ellen show, Sheryl Crow said this is what caused her breast cancer. It has been identified as the most common cause of the high levels of dioxin in breast cancer tissue.
Sheryl Crow's oncologist told her: women should not drink bottled water that has been left in a car. The heat reacts with the chemicals in the plastic of the bottle which releases dioxin into the water.
Dioxin is a toxin increasingly found in breast cancer tissue. So please be careful and do not drink bottled water that has been left in a car. Pass this on to all the women in your life. This information is the kind we need to know that just might save us!
Use a stainless steel canteen or a glass bottle instead of plastic!
LET EVERYONE WHO HAS A WIFE / GIRLFRIEND / DAUGHTER KNOW PLEASE!
This information is also being circulated at Walter Reed Army Medical Center
No plastic containers in microwave.
No water bottles in freezer
No plastic wrap in microwave.
A dioxin chemical causes cancer, especially breast cancer. Dioxins are highly poisonous to the cells of our bodies. Don't freeze your plastic bottles with water in them as this releases dioxins from the plastic.
Recently, Edward Fujimoto, Wellness Program Manager at Castle Hospital, was on a TV program t..... Instead, he recommends using glass, such as Corning Ware, Pyrex or ceramic containers for heating food.. You get the same results, only without the dioxin. So such things as TV dinners, instant ramen and soups, etc., should be removed from the container and heated in something else......
This is an article that should be sent to anyone important in your life!
The Sticky Meme of the Plastic Cancer Bottle
This is a beautiful example of an internet meme, and fits many of the characteristics of the sticky story laid out in the best seller "Made to Stick" by Chip and Dan Heath, a fabulous discussion of what makes a story like an urban myth stick in our minds. You can purchase "Made to Stick" right now at our store (via Amazon) HERE.
Memes like this have several reasons for spreading:
1. They are often spread by intelligent, educated people.
2. They have several forms of "Authority" - Ellen, Johns Hopkins and an "anti-authority" (Sheryl Crow - The Rock and Roll cancer survivor)
3. At some level it makes "common" sense.
4. Plays on the visceral fear of cancer, a very sticky subject.
5. Plays on the fear of industry.
6. There is urgency placed throughout the message - "LET EVERYONE WHO HAS A WIFE .....PLEASE"
7. They quote experts and institutions you know, as well as ones we've never heard of.
Some facts on Dioxins...
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Donald Trump is Buying My Backyard!
UPDATE: Interview with Eric Trump! with Amy Miller Burns. You can view it HERE.
Original Story
There came a knock on the door. Standing there was Elizabeth Coe, a reporter for the Loudoun Times-Mirror.
She was writing an article and conducting interviews with people in my neighborhood on Donald Trump's purchase of the Lowes Island Country Club, which my home backs up to. Mind you we are not members - it's beautiful, but it's also $120k to join. And strangely enough these places never have really good food - which is important for my husband Jon and me.
I told Elizabeth what I did. “What do you think about the purchase of Lowes Island Country Club by Donald Trump?” Elizabeth asked.
I thought for a moment and this is what came to me. “Donald Trump represents the Archetype of the Phoenix. He crashes and burns then rises from the ashes. He loses on an investment, makes another, then succeeds.”
I continued, “I see Donald moving into my neighborhood as a very powerful and positive sign. Yes, the houses in my area have gone down in value but they will rise like the Phoenix to successfully regain their value. And just like The Donald who ultimately exceeds his previous worth, so will the houses in the area where he laid seed.“
I laughed out loud when I said that last part.
I then told her, "I can wave at him when he passes if he ever comes to play golf." Which I will. Elizabeth went on to write a nice article where I'm quoted.
This conversation got me to wondering, “Why does Donald Trump fail in some ventures and succeed in others?” Why would he literally declare bankruptcy on his casinos virtually the same week he announces he's buying my backyard?
I believe Donald has a problem with feminine energy. Ok laugh, I know he has had several wives but that is just the symptom of having an imbalance in his masculine/feminine energy. To put it more clearly, he doesn't know what to do with women - he thinks he does, but he doesn't.
Take a think about it - both bankruptcies filed were on his casinos - and when I look at The Donald and his casinos, I see a wife in another form. They are glitzy, glamorous and expensive to maintain, and ultimately lead him to a losing a bunch of money. It's a pattern he holds.
My suggestion to Donald is this, “Balance your personal energies and work out your problems with women. Until then, stay away from feminine investments.”
So what is a "feminine investment?" It is something he cannot control. Here's another example.
Donald Trump is big in the pagent business and owns Miss Universe, Miss USA, and Miss Teen USA pageants. Some people love him and others dislike him but not for reasons you'd think. The Donald has turned the pagent business into a business. No problem with the basic idea - but a pagent is basically girls showing off for other girls. Folks like Valerie Hayes, the Pagent Coach - see his turning these businesses into a brand and a business as a mixed bag. In essence he is taking a very masculine approach to an inherently feminine businss. In this case I do not predict success.
But back to my back yard.
Donald’s purchase of Lowes Island Country Club is a nice solid masculine investment and should be safe from his feminine pattern of loss and I look forward to all those predicatable men -- Tiger Woods, The Donald and the PGA Tour buzzing around my backyard.
I predict huge success!
Sincerely Yours
Cynthia Chauvin Miles
The Why Girl from New Orleans
Why do dogs and cats seem so human? Because they are.
Back in 1994 I lived in New York. During that time I was interviewed for a television segment featuring a psychic that spoke to animals. I was polite but a little stunned, and I became outraged inside and told the producer that until she was serious about putting on something of quality, something to help humanity, I was not available.
That was 7 cats and 1 dog ago and I am here to tell you I have eaten my kibbles. Dry, without gravy.
Now I have 5 cats and 1 dog, all of who have their individual human qualities (such as Fred my cat who likes to make out while watching television) -- and they all definitely talk.
I don't mean small baby sentences either. I mean talk, just like you and I would.
Their main topic of conversation is usually centered around - "I love you, I desire food now, Where have you been? I am fine. Get me this please, Where's the poot box? I don't like that, I don't like that person," and of course, "Leave me alone I am contemplating."
For example, when I come home after several hours Fred greets me at the door with his stern meow, "Where were you? I was worried. You have been gone a long time."
These are just the daily ordinary conversations.
I have also had many extraordinary conversations with my babies.
They have told me everything from where and when to find them -- Oscar, my first cat, told me where I would find my Tommy my second cat -- to when many years later Tommy not only told me he was leaving but, he also told me why. He left on the very same day of a painful event from many years before miraculously taking my fear and pain from then with him.
These are not coincidences. These people express themselves fully -- within their capacity. (Like my husband for example.)
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Why aren't public schools good enough for the first children?
Why is it not a requirement for our local, state and federal government elected representatives to participate in their constituents available public education opportunities?
If public officials where required to use the public school system in their district by law, we would see a fast rise in the quality of education and safety of the public schools.
I am not against private school; I am for equality in education and safety for our children. I believe public schools should have the same level of excellence in education as any private school.
Private schools should be a choice not a necessity.
Sincerely Yours
Cynthia Chauvin Miles
The Why Girl from New Orleans
Introduction To The Why Blog Post
Being a child of the south with an unbounded curiosity I asked my mother Wilma "Why this, why that, and why the other" incessantly. I was always met with the same blessed response, Sit down and be quiet.
Now you may not think being directed to sit down and be quiet was an asset, but for me it became a huge one. My curiosity grew uninhibited by my mother's knowledge and ideas, and to this day my curiosity goes unchecked. Ask my husband.
So in my Mother's divine wisdom of no answer to questions like, Why if I went to sleep last night and I was 4 and I woke up today and I am 5, why aren't I bigger? I can't see any change." she released me from the bondage of predigested thought into the untainted world of why.
To follow is my 'Why' series of blog posts, where I hope to help free you from your predigested thought forms into the curious world of the untainted "why." And if you are already a "why junkie" hopefully this will enhance your curiosity.
Sincerely Yours
Cynthia Chauvin Miles
The Why Girl from New Orleans
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