Cynthia and I are eating dinner at Bazins in old town Vienna, she's had her vodka, dirty with olives. She's relating to me that one of her clients has lived all over the world. She really likes that. My wife is truly a giving women, tending to sacrifice her wants for the good of the whole. Then she blurts it out, "If I don't get to live in Europe for an extended period of time this life I'm sending Jesus my resignation letter."
You have criticizing people in your life because you write them into your life.
As the playwright, director and producer of your life story, you write criticism into your stage play. Then you put out a casting call for the part. The characters in your life are the characters that have answered your casting call.
Anyone who is critical in your life is someone you have put there to play the part and even though these characters are outside of you, it’s important to remember that all criticism is self-criticism.
So how do you write these people out of your life story?
The Bunny just had a recent psychic reading client call her with an update.
"Hi Cynthia, I don't know if you remember me but I came in to see you several months ago. When I saw you you told me I was going to get a big promotion in August, and I thought you were nuts."
She replied, "Well there are a lot of people that think that."
He laughs, and says, "I was one of them but I just had to tell you I got a big promotion today and I just had to share it with you."
The Bunny is railing at Donald Trump. We live next to Donald Trump's Country Club and Golf Couse and they were blowing their leaves into our garden. She got so excited she called the GM and let him know her thoughts.
As I'm leaving she says, "Don't mess with the Cajun! Donald's goin' down!"
Update: The Bunny just called. The General Manager came by and gave her a tour in a golf cart of the entire course, complete with waterfalls. Smart man.
We're talking about New Orleans. Cynthia loves her home town, but for different reasons than most would think. She sips her coffee briefly, "It's just like drive thru daquiris, they're practical."
"For the love of God Bunny, please be quiet." Cynthia has woken up chipper, chipper beyond compare. I'm dragging my butt from the car to Dunkin Donuts. She's prancing along side of me. I'm in my cave. She doesn't care in the least, "I'm like a washing machine....on agitate!"
The wife and I are getting ready. I randomly ask her, "Do you love me?" She stops what she's doing, walks over and gets in under my arms, body to body.
Cynthia is railing about "The Wolfman" which we've just seen on pay per view.
"Somebody must have stayed up at night and come up with ways to make that movie bad. With all those good actors and actresses, they had to go out of their way to make that movie bad."
I had barley paid attention to it. "You didn't even look up from typing on the computer, that's how bad it was."
My wife is sitting close. Too close for the moment. I'm fidgeting. Cynthia continues to skootch next to me. "I'm invading, and conquering, your personal space," she smiles and winks, "I'm like Alexander the Great."
Cynthia and I are milling about in the Javitz Center at BEA before a meeting with a publisher.
Cynthia walks up to me, "A big handsome black man just told me I looked like a beautiful opera diva."
She continues, "I was sitting there kvetching about how I looked. Just goes to show you what you're thinking on the inside is not what people are seeing on the outside."
James Cameron walked on set today for the Riz Khan show. I got him to sign my MacBook with a Sharpie. I tell Cynthia he's coming and she chirps naturally, "Tell him I said hey." More here.
My wife wrote me an email, expressing her love and telling me what she needed. She calls to follow up and askes, "Did you get my email?" We discuss for a bit. She concludes, "I need tender. Do you know how to be tender?" Before I can finish she instructs me, "Go take a class." Wink.
The Bunny is being particularly chipper this morning. "Close the windows, it's cold. Open the shades. Turn on the water. My feet are cold." she chatters. I'm grumbling as a wake up. She continues to tell me all the things required to make her happy this particular morning. Some are standard, some are new additions. I'm preverbal but manage an exacerbated sigh. Sticking her feet on mine she says it, "Don't worry Honey, I'll tell you rules as we go along."
My wife loves Johnny Depp. We're watching The NInth Gate for the umpteenth time. Then the line she loves so much comes up on screen. Boris Balkan looks at Dean Corso, "There's no one more reliable than a man whose loyalty can be bought for hard cash." My wife beams, "Ooo, I LOVE that line."
My wife and I are eating at Virginia Kitchen in Herndon. It's a favorite hangout that serves breakfast and lunch only. Linc, the owner has three kids and always askes how our radio show, or book, or project of the moment is going. Today she had pot roast and I had a tomato and cheese omlette. Cynthia notes one of the booths has a piece of it's covering coming off. It's a homey kind of place and the people are all characters. She finishes a bite and laughs, "They didn't waste a penny on ambience here."
"We have a rodent infestation," I say as I watch a cadre of squirrels bound around our deck. My wife has thrown out a bag of pistachios scattering them all over the deck. "They're not rodents," my Bunny chimes in. "Yes they are dear. Rabbits, squirrels, rats, they are all rodents." i respond. She points to their cute little mohawk emulating tails, "It's all in the hair dear, it's all in the hair."
"Fred supervises then naps for a bit, then supervises and naps some more." Cynthia is talking about our cat Fred. Anyone who's met Fred likes him. I even occassionally tweet as Fred. He has more followers than most people.
"You should aspire to be Fred." As she walks off I realize she's right.
A Princeton University research team has demonstrated that all sweeteners are not equal when it comes to weight gain: Rats with access to high-fructose corn syrup gained significantly more weight than those with access to table sugar, even when their overall caloric intake was the same.
In addition to causing significant weight gain in lab animals, long-term consumption of high-fructose corn syrup also led to abnormal increases in body fat, especially in the abdomen, and a rise in circulating blood fats called triglycerides.
My wife and I are driving to the New Orleans airport and we pass a billboard that says, "COMPLETE HERBAL AND DETOX CENTER, PARADISE ADULT VIDEO" She looks at me and says, "That's why we're all demento down here."
"That Nasty Bug. That's the only thing I'll kill." My wife is expounding her views on the stink bugs that have plagued the east coast now for several months. Literally everyone has them in their house and we have one on the TV. She says this, but it's always me who has to dispatch the poor little creatures.
"You want more Goldfish?" I ask the Bunny, as I point to the empty papel towel which only moments before was piled with Goldfish. "They all swam away.." She laughs out loud.
"Did you hear that? And you wonder why I'm half crazy all the time." My wife and I are sitting in the office. She is on hold with Blue Cross Blue Satan. We are listening to endless commericals about sleep apnea, how they'll be right with us, and how they give to the community. "I don't want them to give to the community! I want them to lower my rates! These people have more money than dirt!"
"Great movie." The Bunny is making a comment about Altered States. We've been on a kick recently, watching it three or four times in as many months."It's a great movie." She continues, "It only took me twenty years to understand it."
My wife is puttering in the ktichen. I'm watching the Tsuami coverage waiting for something to happen. "I don't trust the press. They try to make something out nothing, and nothing out of something."
We're in the office finishing up the most recent book. "What do you think about these, they're a little strange..." Cynthia is looking at shoes on Amazon. The Bunny had just taken a tumble on the ice breaking the heal of her favorite shoes. "Don't buy something just because you have..." I start. "Shoe remorse?" she replies.
My wife walks out of her office after doing a hypnosis session with a client. "It blows me away what sticks with people. I'm going on about spirituality, using big metaphors, and you know what sticks in her head?" "What?" I ask. "Plant a tomato, get a tomato."
"You know that Mexican coke you bought?"my wife intones. "Yes, they keep their fizz over night" I reply. She continues, "American cokes lose their fizz too fast. I think it's so we have to open a new one to get more fizz. I think it's a plot."
I woke up this morning to my wife singing "Celebrate" by Kool and the Gang while wearing a hat she made made out of tin foil. I gave her a goofy Vday card with a duck.
There's tin foil hanging on the wall. We've had some roof leaks after the snowpacalype. I've channeled the drips into buckets using an ingenious combination of Reynolds tin foil and scotch tape.
My wife grabs some water bottles that have accumulated on the nightstand. "What do you think, we're in the movie Signs here? We have like six bottles of water up here..."
"And tin foil," I respond. "We could make hats."
She walks off, Sonic toothbrush whizzing away in her mouth, "Swing away Merrill...Swing away..."
"I think I like squirrels because they are so polite," my wife explains. She's expounding on her animal husbandry philosophy as she feeds her herd of squirrels peanuts in the morning. "They just stand there with their little hands folded patiently waiting. Dogs jump, cats whine, squirrels are so polite. I like them."
"That movie should have sub-titles" says my wife. "You can't understand a thing he says." When she makes this comment, I know it's code for me to speak more loudly and clearly.
My wife and I, like all couples, have developed some serious shorthand in communicating. We have a running joke about Heath Ledger in Brokeback Mountain, and the quasi-guttaral mumble that qualified as dialogue throughout the movie. We call him, the "hashusmsheumsshumssshmm" man.
We're busy cutting the new episode of Girlfriend - Relationship Radio Rebooted. We will post later today on the website, and on iTunes. This episode - Why did he change?
"When I go on the radio next week I'm going to say Verizon sucks," my wife says to me as we come back from Giant. "No dear, you can't say that. That's libel. Or slander, I forget which." "It's just my opinion," she replies. Pondering for a second, "Well then I'm going to pose it as a question like this - Can I say Verizon sucks?"
This morning my wife announced we should start a secret club. Under the covers we inducted each other, our cat Fred, and then came up with a secret handshake.
Natalie Portman, has fallen from a cliff in New Zealand and died.
After a brusing week with the loss of Ed McMahon, Farah Fawcett, Michael Jackson and TV pitchman Billy Mays - reports are circulating that Natalie Portman has been killed in an accident while filming in New Zealand.
They have also taken the life of Jon Miles, that's me, and any of your friends that you want to prank.
The celebrity death hoax has a certain resonance considering the headlines of June 2009, however all of this is courtesy of Fakeawish.com - an increasing popular way to kill of celebrities with plane crashes, cliff diving and yacht explosions.
The old adage - Don't believe anything you hear, and only a small percentage of what you read - continues to hold true.
(I have abbrieviated the email for time. You can read the whole stupid masterpiece here.)
Subject: Cancer Update
PLEASE DO NOT IGNORE - READ IT ALL!!
This is not just for women:
From Johns-Hopkins
Bottled water in your car is very dangerous!
On the Ellen show, Sheryl Crow said this is what caused her breast cancer. It has been identified as the most common cause of the high levels of dioxin in breast cancer tissue.
Sheryl Crow's oncologist told her: women should not drink bottled water that has been left in a car. The heat reacts with the chemicals in the plastic of the bottle which releases dioxin into the water.
Dioxin is a toxin increasingly found in breast cancer tissue. So please be careful and do not drink bottled water that has been left in a car. Pass this on to all the women in your life. This information is the kind we need to know that just might save us!
Use a stainless steel canteen or a glass bottle instead of plastic!
LET EVERYONE WHO HAS A WIFE / GIRLFRIEND / DAUGHTER KNOW PLEASE!
This information is also being circulated at Walter Reed Army Medical Center
No plastic containers in microwave.
No water bottles in freezer
No plastic wrap in microwave.
A dioxin chemical causes cancer, especially breast cancer. Dioxins are highly poisonous to the cells of our bodies. Don't freeze your plastic bottles with water in them as this releases dioxins from the plastic.
Recently, Edward Fujimoto, Wellness Program Manager at Castle Hospital, was on a TV program t.....Instead, he recommends using glass, such as Corning Ware, Pyrex or ceramic containers for heating food.. You get the same results, only without the dioxin. So such things as TV dinners, instant ramen and soups, etc., should be removed from the container and heated in something else......
This is an article that should be sent to anyone important in your life!
The Sticky Meme of the Plastic Cancer Bottle
This is a beautiful example of an internet meme, and fits many of the characteristics of the sticky story laid out in the best seller "Made to Stick" by Chip and Dan Heath, a fabulous discussion of what makes a story like an urban myth stick in our minds. You can purchase "Made to Stick" right now at our store (via Amazon) HERE.
Memes like this have several reasons for spreading:
1. They are often spread by intelligent, educated people.
2. They have several forms of "Authority" - Ellen, Johns Hopkins and an "anti-authority" (Sheryl Crow - The Rock and Roll cancer survivor)
3. At some level it makes "common" sense.
4. Plays on the visceral fear of cancer, a very sticky subject.
5. Plays on the fear of industry.
6. There is urgency placed throughout the message - "LET EVERYONE WHO HAS A WIFE .....PLEASE" 7. They quote experts and institutions you know, as well as ones we've never heard of.
UPDATE: Interview with Eric Trump! with Amy Miller Burns. You can view it HERE.
Original Story
There came a knock on the door. Standing there was Elizabeth Coe, a reporter for the Loudoun Times-Mirror.
She was writing an article and conducting interviews with people in my neighborhood on Donald Trump's purchase of the Lowes Island Country Club, which my home backs up to. Mind you we are not members - it's beautiful, but it's also $120k to join. And strangely enough these places never have really good food - which is important for my husband Jon and me.
I told Elizabeth what I did. “What do you think about the purchase of Lowes Island Country Club by Donald Trump?” Elizabeth asked.
I thought for a moment and this is what came to me. “Donald Trump represents the Archetype of the Phoenix. He crashes and burns then rises from the ashes. He loses on an investment, makes another, then succeeds.”
I continued, “I see Donald moving into my neighborhood as a very powerful and positive sign. Yes, the houses in my area have gone down in value but they will rise like the Phoenix to successfully regain their value. And just like The Donald who ultimately exceeds his previous worth, so will the houses in the area where he laid seed.“
I laughed out loud when I said that last part.
I then told her, "I can wave at him when he passes if he ever comes to play golf." Which I will. Elizabeth went on to write a nice article where I'm quoted.
This conversation got me to wondering, “Why does Donald Trump fail in some ventures and succeed in others?” Why would he literally declare bankruptcy on his casinos virtually the same week he announces he's buying my backyard?
I believe Donald has a problem with feminine energy. Ok laugh, I know he has had several wives but that is just the symptom of having an imbalance in his masculine/feminine energy. To put it more clearly, he doesn't know what to do with women - he thinks he does, but he doesn't.
Take a think about it - both bankruptcies filed were on his casinos - and when I look at The Donald and his casinos, I see a wife in another form. They are glitzy, glamorous and expensive to maintain, and ultimately lead him to a losing a bunch of money. It's a pattern he holds.
My suggestion to Donald is this, “Balance your personal energies and work out your problems with women. Until then, stay away from feminine investments.”
So what is a "feminine investment?" It is something he cannot control. Here's another example.
Donald Trump is big in the pagent business and owns Miss Universe, Miss USA, and Miss Teen USA pageants. Some people love him and others dislike him but not for reasons you'd think. The Donald has turned the pagent business into a business. No problem with the basic idea - but a pagent is basically girls showing off for other girls. Folks like Valerie Hayes, the Pagent Coach - see his turning these businesses into a brand and a business as a mixed bag. In essence he is taking a very masculine approach to an inherently feminine businss. In this case I do not predict success.
But back to my back yard.
Donald’s purchase of Lowes Island Country Club is a nice solid masculine investment and should be safe from his feminine pattern of loss and I look forward to all those predicatable men -- Tiger Woods, The Donald and the PGA Tour buzzing around my backyard.
Why do dogs and cats seem so human? Because they are.
Back in 1994 I lived in New York. During that time I was interviewed for a television segment featuring a psychic that spoke to animals. I was polite but a little stunned, and I became outraged inside and told the producer that until she was serious about putting on something of quality, something to help humanity, I was not available.
That was 7 cats and 1 dog ago and I am here to tell you I have eaten my kibbles. Dry, without gravy.
Now I have 5 cats and 1 dog, all of who have their individual human qualities (such as Fred my cat who likes to make out while watching television) -- and they all definitely talk.
I don't mean small baby sentences either. I mean talk, just like you and I would.
Their main topic of conversation is usually centered around - "I love you, I desire food now, Where have you been? I am fine. Get me this please, Where's the poot box? I don't like that, I don't like that person," and of course, "Leave me alone I am contemplating."
For example, when I come home after several hours Fred greets me at the door with his stern meow, "Where were you? I was worried. You have been gone a long time."
These are just the daily ordinary conversations.
I have also had many extraordinary conversations with my babies.
They have told me everything from where and when to find them -- Oscar, my first cat, told me where I would find my Tommy my second cat -- to when many years later Tommy not only told me he was leaving but, he also told me why. He left on the very same day of a painful event from many years before miraculously taking my fear and pain from then with him.
These are not coincidences. These people express themselves fully -- within their capacity. (Like my husband for example.)
Why aren't public schools good enough for the first children?
Why is it not a requirement for our local, state and federal government elected representatives to participate in their constituents available public education opportunities?
If public officials where required to use the public school system in their district by law, we would see a fast rise in the quality of education and safety of the public schools.
I am not against private school; I am for equality in education and safety for our children. I believe public schools should have the same level of excellence in education as any private school.
Private schools should be a choice not a necessity.
Being a child of the south with an unbounded curiosity I asked my mother Wilma "Why this, why that, and why the other" incessantly. I was always met with the same blessed response, Sit down and be quiet.
Now you may not think being directed to sit down and be quiet was an asset, but for me it became a huge one. My curiosity grew uninhibited by my mother's knowledge and ideas, and to this day my curiosity goes unchecked. Ask my husband.
So in my Mother's divine wisdom of no answer to questions like, Why if I went to sleep last night and I was 4 and I woke up today and I am 5, why aren't I bigger? I can't see any change." she released me from the bondage of predigested thought into the untainted world of why.
To follow is my 'Why' series of blog posts, where I hope to help free you from your predigested thought forms into the curious world of the untainted "why." And if you are already a "why junkie" hopefully this will enhance your curiosity.
All through the fall of last year there was much conspiratorial talk of the political urban legend called the "october surprise." Many pundits ranted about how former President Bush was going to attack Iran, opening a third front in the WOW (war on whatever.)
This was, they said, meant to influence the public to vote for John McCain. Alas, the election came and went and there was no surprise.
But this is not entirely true. There was a surprise. But it was in December, and it was called the war on Gaza. It didn't influence the election directly, but it has changed the landscape that President Obama will have to operate in.
So instead of the United States attacking Iran, the U.S. proxy in the region, Israel, launched Operation Cast Lead on December 29th, on the Iranian regional proxy Hamas
So, we had a surprise, it just came in a different form and at a different time - just like a real surprise.
There was this psychiatrist guy, named Carl Jung, who came up with these things called "archetypes" which wikipedia loosly defines a "model of a person, object, or concept that is copied, patterned, or emulated."
You're a Harvard educated guy, so I'm guessing this not completely new territory to you, but I thought I'd point this out - as I think you're playing with fire here.
Jon and Cynthia are the team that power Two Dragons International. Together they write books, produce radio shows and develop products for TwoDragons.com. Cynthia Chauvin is a full-time psychic and Certified Practioner of Hypnosis and Neuro-Linguistic Programming. Jon is a television producer as well as a Certified Practioner of Hypnosis and Neuro-Linguistic Programming.
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